before i stop using my blog, i'd like to say goodbye. i think i'm gonna start using a diary or something because using this blog makes me fidget too much. you've been good to me blog. been there for me when i needed to vent out into nothingness. i won't forget it. and for now,
adios.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
hi there,
i wonder when i'll get enough courage.
-enough courage to finally get my ass to your house and say "can we at least talk this over"
-to talk to you, call you, im you, even see you again
-to tell some people my piece of mind
-to say to you "hey, whats up" and start talking about random stuff
-maybe ask you why sometimes you ignore me in the hallways, as if we don't know each other
-and lastly, enough courage to not care about other people's views on me
-enough courage to finally get my ass to your house and say "can we at least talk this over"
-to talk to you, call you, im you, even see you again
-to tell some people my piece of mind
-to say to you "hey, whats up" and start talking about random stuff
-maybe ask you why sometimes you ignore me in the hallways, as if we don't know each other
-and lastly, enough courage to not care about other people's views on me
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
one more sidenote,
dear ________,
you've taught me well. you've taught me what an ass i really am, and how cocky i was. i've learned. i've learned why you love tennis so much, and why you need it so much. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being the ignorant little girl, who knows nothing about life nor knowing anything about tennis.
i guess i don't deserve you being here for me when i need you anymore. nor do i deserve your words of advice, even when i need it the most.
i hate how our whole family is just stubborn. stubborn stubborn stubborn, full of grudges, full of locked hearts without a key to open it ever again. i've lost yet another key, and i don't think i'll ever get it back.
you're living just fine without me, and probably haven't thought twice about me ever since. there's so many things i would've liked to tell you. so many things i've wanted to share with you. like how whether or not i want to admit it, a part of me does miss you, very much. or all the things i've experienced in my first season of tennis. or, all the things we've been through and how its been in our lives. am i going well? are you going well? anything you're happy for? anything you're sad for? so many questions that will be left unanswered, put away, accumulating dust over time, and slowly breaking down to ashes. i've grasped one thing though
once trust is lost, it'll never come back.
i hope the best of everything to you.
with all my love,
vivian
you've taught me well. you've taught me what an ass i really am, and how cocky i was. i've learned. i've learned why you love tennis so much, and why you need it so much. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for being the ignorant little girl, who knows nothing about life nor knowing anything about tennis.
i guess i don't deserve you being here for me when i need you anymore. nor do i deserve your words of advice, even when i need it the most.
i hate how our whole family is just stubborn. stubborn stubborn stubborn, full of grudges, full of locked hearts without a key to open it ever again. i've lost yet another key, and i don't think i'll ever get it back.
you're living just fine without me, and probably haven't thought twice about me ever since. there's so many things i would've liked to tell you. so many things i've wanted to share with you. like how whether or not i want to admit it, a part of me does miss you, very much. or all the things i've experienced in my first season of tennis. or, all the things we've been through and how its been in our lives. am i going well? are you going well? anything you're happy for? anything you're sad for? so many questions that will be left unanswered, put away, accumulating dust over time, and slowly breaking down to ashes. i've grasped one thing though
once trust is lost, it'll never come back.
i hope the best of everything to you.
with all my love,
vivian
one tennis season down, three more to go.
actually, i'm SUPPOSED to be at my away game at rosary right at this moment, on the bus, with my team all excited to play. but, that ain't happening. they cancelled on our game :( i swear, we had like five cancelled games this season, it sucks. a waste of my money paying for those game's gas fees and court fees! >:O whatever. the season was still fun either way.
i got to say, tennis season has been a lot more incredible then i would've ever imagined it would be. (not the fact that i wasn't on the ladder as much as i would've wanted, but i wasn't expecting to be on the ladder at all) i've realized how much tennis has dominated my life in the past three months. its all i'm really looking forward too on the weekends, or on game days, or challenge days. i can now understand what people see in sports, they see another seperate little family that stick together, no matter what. i've bonded with my jv team so much, i honestly cannot wait for next year's season to begin. speaking of next year's season.....varsity tryouts? holy crap. i can't believe the amount of self confidence i felt in the beginning of tennis. i didn't know where i was in tennis, i didn't know that there are far more people better than me out there. i'm hoping, wishing upon that tiny little star somewhere far in the galaxy, to make it. but i'm pretty sure i'm not. i realize how much i've missed out and how much i regret not starting tennis earlier. everyone has years of advantage, years of experience, and years of learning than me. i envy them. i envy how familiar they are with tennis and i haven't known even half of it. jv team is really fun though, except next year, many of the people i would've wanted to see are probably not taking tennis again, and that makes me sad. wow this is getting long.
of course i won't miss it like crazy, because i am going to be glad that i won't come home so late anymore, and that i would be able to talk to my friends more and have more time to study. speaking of studying....ahem ahem.
here come's daily tennis practice with my partner, in hope that we both get better by next year. i'm looking forward to them. i really hope that we can be good partners to practice with as well as on the courts during games next year, more than we already are. lets, do this.
one little side note to my partner:
dear doubles partner,
i really couldn't have asked more, nor think of any other parter better than you to partner up with. you've really been there for me, through my rants, through my tempers, through the losses, and through the wins. i can't express enough how i enjoyed being your partner, and sorry if i disappointed you at times where i wasn't playing to the best of my abilities. i've grown to love tennis so much with you, and i am really grateful you haven't shown the least worried when we lose. you're always optimistic when i'm not, and you always tell me its ok, even if its not. i know you'll always have my back in tennis, and that we'll both strive to become, the best doubles partners in the world.
with sincerity,
Vivian<3
i got to say, tennis season has been a lot more incredible then i would've ever imagined it would be. (not the fact that i wasn't on the ladder as much as i would've wanted, but i wasn't expecting to be on the ladder at all) i've realized how much tennis has dominated my life in the past three months. its all i'm really looking forward too on the weekends, or on game days, or challenge days. i can now understand what people see in sports, they see another seperate little family that stick together, no matter what. i've bonded with my jv team so much, i honestly cannot wait for next year's season to begin. speaking of next year's season.....varsity tryouts? holy crap. i can't believe the amount of self confidence i felt in the beginning of tennis. i didn't know where i was in tennis, i didn't know that there are far more people better than me out there. i'm hoping, wishing upon that tiny little star somewhere far in the galaxy, to make it. but i'm pretty sure i'm not. i realize how much i've missed out and how much i regret not starting tennis earlier. everyone has years of advantage, years of experience, and years of learning than me. i envy them. i envy how familiar they are with tennis and i haven't known even half of it. jv team is really fun though, except next year, many of the people i would've wanted to see are probably not taking tennis again, and that makes me sad. wow this is getting long.
of course i won't miss it like crazy, because i am going to be glad that i won't come home so late anymore, and that i would be able to talk to my friends more and have more time to study. speaking of studying....ahem ahem.
here come's daily tennis practice with my partner, in hope that we both get better by next year. i'm looking forward to them. i really hope that we can be good partners to practice with as well as on the courts during games next year, more than we already are. lets, do this.
one little side note to my partner:
dear doubles partner,
i really couldn't have asked more, nor think of any other parter better than you to partner up with. you've really been there for me, through my rants, through my tempers, through the losses, and through the wins. i can't express enough how i enjoyed being your partner, and sorry if i disappointed you at times where i wasn't playing to the best of my abilities. i've grown to love tennis so much with you, and i am really grateful you haven't shown the least worried when we lose. you're always optimistic when i'm not, and you always tell me its ok, even if its not. i know you'll always have my back in tennis, and that we'll both strive to become, the best doubles partners in the world.
with sincerity,
Vivian<3
Monday, November 1, 2010
so tired :(
i don't know why, but my eyes are really droopy today. on the bright side, i'll be coming home early tomorrow, and i came home early today too, yayy :) because there were no challenges, sigh. but coach dan is choosing his ladder people, i hope i'm in the ladder ;D but at the same time...i hope i'm not cause i would have a comp on the day after. sigh.
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