do i really do volunteer work out of the goodness of my heart? or is it cause of making myself look better on college apps. i really don't know. initially, it was from the goodness of my heart. volunteering was just something i would want to do, not something i would do for my transcripts. i've always thought that way, until i realized, what if i did all of this volunteer work, without recognition of all the hours i spent? would i be ok with that? i'm not very sure, and truth is, that disturbs me. why WOULDN'T i be ok with that? am i selfish? i don't know.
i WOULD still do volunteer work, if it didn't show up on my college, but would i do just as much as i would do if it were on a college app? or would i do less hours and not spend so much time thinking about volunteering, or think about ways to stand out in a pile of college applications hoping to get chosen to the best of the best schools. ever since i've got into whitney, i've felt very pressured. pressured to succeed, pressured to get good grades,pressured to be a good student, and eventually get into a good college. i'm scared at the fact that i won't make it into my dream college and so i strive to stand out. i strive to do things no one's ever done. i strive to be a student that every college would be looking for. and i feel very selfish for it. volunteering shouldn't be about whether or not you look good to a certain college, its supposed come from your absolute sincerity. some spare free time you would have to volunteer in your community and make the world, a better place.
i'm frustrated.
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